Best Holiday Gift - Jewelry or a Silent Night's Sleep? on The Morning Blend

Best Holiday Gift
Reviewed by
Published on
December 20, 2021
Updated on
December 30, 2021

Which holiday gift would you rather get from your partner: a silent night free from snoring or jewelry?

[Molly] Welcome back to The Morning Blend. Today, the gift of a silent night. Last Friday we posted this interesting question on Facebook about a truly meaningful gift from your partner. It is our continuing series Sleep Well, Breathe Well with ADVENT, and founder and CEO Madan Kandula is here to explain and to help couples get that peaceful night's sleep. Good morning to you, doctor.

[Dr. Kandula] Good morning. How are you doing, Molly?

[Molly] I'm doing great. I want to look again at this question because I think it's fascinating. You put up their jewelry, which is something you know, you're married, you've got a beautiful wife. She's going to love jewelry. But you know, when you look at, would you rather have a nice piece of jewelry or a peaceful night's sleep? Are you surprised by the answers?

[Dr. Kandula] I don't think so. I mean, you know, I think it's such a common problem, and it's such a frustrating problem for so many couples. And you know, I think historically, there really hasn't been anything you could do about it. You just sort of is what it is and you got to deal with it. You know jewelry is nice, jewelry you know, looks pretty and all that good stuff. There's nothing wrong with that. But I think as a human being, being healthy, sleeping properly, all those things make such a big difference in life that it's priceless. I mean, you can put a price on something like jewelry, obviously, but you can't put a price on your health. You can't put a price on sleep. It's so profoundly impactful.

[Molly] Why doesn't anyone talk about it then?

[Dr. Kandula] I think snoring is the number one culprit as far as sleep divorces go. Sleep divorces are very, very common. And nobody really, I don't think, wants to admit that they have issues and especially an issue that's so I mean, it's embarrassing a lot of times is the bottom line. And nobody wants to be a snorer. Nobody wants to really be associated with a snorer, although most of us are. The reality is, when you start talking about it, obviously I talk about the stuff a lot, is when you start a conversation out, and people kind of sometimes chat with me about this, it's so common. It's more common than not that people are dealing with these issues. And I think the more that we talk about it, the more that we recognize that you're not alone. This isn't anything that's particularly special about your relationship. It's frustrating to you, just like it is just so many people out there.

[Molly] That's why I love that don't just treat symptoms or try to, you know, suggest to people that they sleep in separate beds. You're about getting to the root cause. And I wonder, once you do that, once you find out what's going on, it also can be the sign of something much more serious than just keeping your partner awake.

[Dr. Kandula] Yeah. I mean, so sleep is such an important part of all of our lives. Sleep apnea is when somebody stops breathing at night. If you're snoring while you're sleeping at night, it's really as we've talked about beforr, it's your airway crying for help. So if somebody has sleep apnea, they almost assuredly snore. Not everybody who snores has sleep apnea. So let me make that clear, but you don't know. There's no way for you to differentiate those two things apart. And so if somebody is snoring on a consistent basis, their body is telling you and telling us that we need to do something, we need to look into this. We need to see what's going on. Nobody chooses to snore. It isn't something that is a choice that somebody makes. It's something that's forced upon people. And the deal with sleep apnea and snoring in particular, is, you know, usually if you have a health condition, you might suffer in silence. In this situation, you cannot suffer in silence, you're suffering and you're causing those around you to suffer and also be concerned. I mean, you know, I think speaking of jewelry, coming full circle, jewelry is sort of a sign. Hey, I appreciate you. I love you. I love our relationship. That's all great. If somebody is crying out for help, you know-- It's something that's it's more meaningful than something you can put a price on.

[Molly] Yeah, it's showing true caring. I agree with you that if you truly love someone to help them address this issue. And in your notes, it's shocking to read that sometimes people can shut down their airway or basically what seems like stop breathing up to 100 times an hour, which you say causes problems like heart attacks and strokes, diabetes, lots of other issues. So, given this and given your expertise, I wonder what should people be looking out for as it relates to possibly being concerned that it might be sleep apnea?

[Dr. Kandula] Well, I mean, snoring is almost always part and parcel of that. But if somebody is not getting the rest that they need, if somebody- obviously seeing somebody stopping breathing at night. But if somebody is sort of tired during the day, if you fall asleep easily at the wheel, if you're just looking to get that nap, if you're looking to get to bed as soon as you can. Those are all signs of trouble, although honestly, a lot of people have been dealing with this stuff for their whole life. And so they don't- they've kind of conditioned themselves to push through. They drink a lot of coffee. They do what they need to do to kind of keep going. And so the folks that we see that are stopping breathing 100 times or more an hour, those are often the folks who are most well compensated for this, meaning they sort of do what they need to do. Now it's a ticking time bomb that will go off on you. Make no mistake about that, but I'd say it can be tricky, and I think we see a lot of folks who come in and say, I snore, but I don't think I stop breathing. We do a sleep study, which is such a simple thing we could do these days. And lo and behold, yeah, you actually do stop breathing. And oftentimes it's much more than you think because you're asleep. You know, it's one of the things you're the last person to know.

[Molly] Exactly. And real quick, I'm curious because we had a question from a viewer. She said her husband snores and keeps a glass of water by the bed. She's wondering, Can you fix a dry mouth and the snoring at night with a pillow because there are a lot of advertisements for special pillows?

[Dr. Kandula] I mean, you could try. It depends on what the issue is. Nobody is going to be- a nobody who uses their mouth to breathe does that by choice. The body does not want to breathe through the mouth. The body wants to breathe through the nose. And so if somebody is breathing through their mouth, there's something wrong that's there. Almost assuredly. Now, maybe you're lucky. Maybe it's just randomly that your body has decided to drop your mouth open just because it it likes to, I doubt that. So anyway, a pillow isn't going to really help your cause other than maybe it might shift your head up a little bit and kind of keep that trap shut a little bit, but it's usually not a great solution, honestly.

[Molly] Absolutely. And as you mentioned, a sleep study is easy. Doctor, thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it.

[Dr. Kandula] Thank you. Thanks for having me.

[Molly] Absolutely. Here's how you can get to the root of the problem. Go to to schedule online. You can do it in just 60 seconds, most insurances are accepted. No referral is required, and there are five southeastern Wisconsin locations for ADVENT, Wauatosa, Mequon, Oconomowoc, Oak Creek and Pleasant Prairie. They also have offices in Appleton as well as the Chicagoland area. There's the phone number on your screen to make that visit.

First published by ADVENT on
December 20, 2021
Table of contents
Best Holiday Gift - Jewelry or a Silent Night's Sleep? on The Morning Blend